Motivated, Dudley scoured his kitchen for supplies. He located a large plastic storage bin

One bright Saturday afternoon, Dudley decided to improve his green thumb. He’d recently watched a video about hydroponic gardening (or at least, the first five minutes before he got distracted by a dog skateboarding). The idea of growing plants without soil fascinated him. “Dude, plants just chillin’ in water,” Dudley muttered with a dreamy grin as he shuffled around his small apartment, eyes bloodshot but sparkling with inspiration. “That’s revolutionary.”

Motivated, Dudley scoured his kitchen for supplies. He located a large plastic storage bin, a few mismatched cups, and some tubing he found tangled behind his radiator (he chose not to question how or why it was there). “It’s just like Legos, but, uh… wetter,” he said to himself.

With reggae playing softly in the background, Dudley filled the storage bin with water—ignoring the puddles he was leaving on the floor. Next, he attempted to set up a simple hydroponic system using plastic cups, each one punctured with small holes. “Roots gotta breathe, you know?” he said, nodding sagely at his reflection in the toaster.

The real challenge began when Dudley tried to balance a floating Styrofoam slab on top of the water to hold his makeshift planters. Every time he gently placed it on the surface, it tilted dramatically, sending water sloshing everywhere and toppling the plastic cups. “No, no, no, stay still!” he pleaded with the stubborn slab, as though it had a mind of its own.

After the fourth unsuccessful attempt, Dudley decided it was time for a “break.” He retreated to his beanbag chair, took a thoughtful puff from his joint, and considered the nature of balance. “Maybe… it’s like an energy thing?” he mused aloud. “Like, I have to be balanced, and then the thing will be balanced.”

With newfound determination, he returned to his hydroponic project, this time performing a dramatic “centering ritual” involving deep breaths and slow, deliberate movements. Despite his earnestness, his foot caught on the edge of the storage bin, and he splashed into the water, knocking over the cups and drenching himself from head to toe. For a second, he sat there in stunned silence, water dripping from his shaggy hair, then burst out laughing. “I guess I’m a hydroponic mess!” he declared proudly to no one in particular.

Soaked but undeterred, Dudley decided to build a new version with a “better vibe.” He upgraded his planters using empty yogurt containers (after washing out the strawberry residue) and managed to cut holes in a sturdier lid from an old cooler. With much concentration and a little less stumbling, Dudley soon had his very first semi-operational hydroponic setup, featuring small sprouting herbs and a few lettuce seeds.

The next day, his best friend Marco stopped by to check on Dudley’s progress. He found Dudley staring intently at the setup, a magnifying glass in one hand, and a mostly-empty cereal bowl in the other. “Dude,” Dudley said, without looking up, “they’re growing. I’m, like, nature’s babysitter.”

Marco pointed at a tangled mess of tubing snaking through the water. “Is that supposed to be bubbling like that?”

Dudley glanced at the bubbles. “Uh… totally. That’s, um… oxygen infusion. Science, bro.”

Seconds later, a water pump Dudley had rigged from an aquarium filter began vibrating wildly, shaking the whole setup and spewing water everywhere. Both friends dove to shut it off, slipping and sliding like they were on a greased-up slip ‘n slide.

In the end, Dudley learned that hydroponics might require more finesse than he anticipated. But he’d also managed to grow some sturdy herbs, and more importantly, he’d gotten one step closer to mastering the art of not-so-organized growing. As he proudly wiped his face with a soggy towel, he declared, “I’ll hydro this ponic thing again. Next time, with less electrocution risk.”

With Dudley, every project was a journey—messy, hilarious, and full of accidental brilliance. #dudleyadventure #dudley420 #dudleybud